


empty hole

by Lolle



Category: One Piece
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, eating problems, mention of vomiting, not disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 08:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12362136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolle/pseuds/Lolle
Summary: Sabo comes back to the Moby Dick in a bad health. Keeping it secret might have been a bad idea.





	empty hole

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hunger/starvation  
> i'm dying guys how are you guys writing so much??  
> hope you enjoy!!!

Coming back to the Moby Dick after months of undercover work without seeing Ace and Marco warms up his whole body in the quiet, winter night. He waves at the lurking members on the deck, greeting them before striding to Marco's room.

He steeps in without knocking, grins when his eyes land on Marco's hands around Ace's stomach as Ace leans back on Marco's chest. A smile stretches across Ace's face, and he's up on his feet, hugging Sabo tightly, arms keeping him close.

"You're here!" Ace whispers, with affection and love in his voice.

Oh, how Sabo missed the warm bodies around him, oh how Sabo only wanted this for months. The happiness on their faces never fails to brighten his grey days.

His body relaxes into Ace's gentle hug before Ace takes off his coat.

"Somebody is really enthusiastic to get off my clothes," Sabo teases with a small smile in the corner of his lips but at Ace's deadpan look he laughs for the first time in months.

He laughs, heart lighter as he finds his own clothes which he left a few months back here. Wearing long pants and a shirt with a sweatshirt, he lies down between Marco and Ace, kissing Marco’s shoulder in greeting before closing his eyes. 

“Glad you’re home, yoi,” Marco murmurs, lips touching his forehead. Sabo hums in answer but doesn’t have the strength to form sentences, exhaustion grabbing him tightly and dragging him down to finally sleep.

“Are you hungry?” Ace asks, ready to stand up and get food for him but Sabo puts his hand on his thigh to stop him from moving. 

He shakes his head. He wishes he could feel hungry again but the hole gnaws on his stomach without feeling any pain.  

Sabo has gotten used to it in the past three months. 

The little meals he had got if he succeeded with the job he had to do, only helped to stay on his feet instead of fainting at the lack of food. His throat is tight with anxiety which finds the smallest cracks to seep into his thoughts, poisoning his time with his boyfriends. 

He falls asleep with body trapped between them as Marco pets his hair and Ace nuzzles closer. 

Sabo sleeps without any nightmares.  While Sabo has slept fine, sitting front of his plate, his stomach clenches at the smell of the food, nausea curling in his throat. Every bite slides down roughly and he's full without eating half of the food from his plate.

* * *

 

Marco eyes his plate but Sabo gives him a small smile. “I'm full.” 

Marco doesn't look away from him but Sabo has had a crappy week to deal with any questions. He stands before anyone could say anything, telling them he will go back to sleep and escapes with their eyes burning in his back. 

Halfway back to the room, he knows he's eaten too much. He tilts his head up, looks forward and doesn't stop only when he has reached their room. 

He only has two moments to get the bucket and he's throwing up in the next. 

Body trembling with the heaving, tears rolling down on his cheeks, Sabo hates himself a little more. 

He saved more than fifty people from slavery. 

But he can't save himself. 

* * *

 

Sabo doesn’t mention it to Ace and Marco. He keeps it a secret and buries it deeply, pretending he’s fine, pretending his stomach doesn’t clench at the sight of the food. 

Everything is fine. 

He wakes up in the middle of a night, only taking two steps from their bed before he’s kneeling in front of the bucket and heaving, bile rising in his throat. 

He’s exhausted and his eyes burn with tears but Marco is there to hold his hair with a warm hand on his back. Ace comes back with a glass of water which Sabo drinks dutifully, leaning his head on Marco’s chest. 

“Are you getting sick? Let’s get you to one of the doc,” Marco says, worry evident in his voice. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Sabo murmurs but it doesn’t look like it helps as Ace is ready to call the doctor anyway.

“You’re throwing up, it doesn’t look fine from here,” Ace answers sharply with eyes never straying away from Sabo. 

Sabo groans. “You’re a worrywart.”

“He’s not wrong,” Marco says. Sabo rolls his eyes but smiles as the warmth spread in him seeing them caring so openly. 

It doesn't make it easier to tell them that he's been throwing up for days and didn't want to share because everything will be about his stupid problem and Sabo just wants to cuddle and sleep with his boyfriends while ignoring his problems.

"Just go back to sleep, I will be fine," Sabo says, smiling as he stands up like everything is fine. He glances at them sitting on the ground, stomach churning with self-hate as he sees the badly hidden disappointment in Ace's expression. He plans to clean up after himself, to wash the bucket out but Marco grabs his wrist before Sabo could go.

"We're only worried, love," Marco says, standing up, not letting go his hand. Sabo's eyes burn at hearing the pet name, his build up walls to hide, crumbles down. "You aren't eating your usual amount of food, you've been quiet which is fine, everyone has those days." Marco caresses Sabo's cheek with his thumb, wiping off the tears sliding down on his face.

Ace hugs him from behind and the only thing he can do is cry, quietly sniffing as his boyfriends hold the broken pieces of him together.

They don't let Sabo go even when he'd finished crying, they're standing in silence, warmth emitting from their body, lulling Sabo to sleep. His eyes drift closed but he starts to talk, this way he doesn't have to face them and their intense emotions Sabo isn't ready for.

"I was undercover for months, I told you last time I called," Sabo starts, his arms tighten around Marco, gripping his shirt to ground himself. "It was risky and stupid and we didn't get a lot of food. Everything tastes too rich or greasy and I can't keep it in myself."

"Fuck, Sabo, so this isn't the first time you've thrown up?" Ace asks, voice filled with hurt. "Were you hiding it the past days?"

"I didn't want to talk about it."

Ace sighs and Sabo knows, of course, he knows, he's too much trouble, he's always giving them new problems.

"I'm sure Thatch would be happy to help to get you used to food again," Marco says, arms sneaking around Sabo's shoulders. "It's going to be okay, we're here, you're fine, we're going to get through this."

Sabo laughs wetly. "Every time I visit I always fuck up our free time with my own stupidity. How do you even deal with my shit?"

"Sabo, you've been starving for months with minimal food." Ace lets him go, stepping next to him so he can look into his eyes. "You don't have to deal with it alone, that's why we're your friends, your boyfriends."

"Sucks to be you," he says sharply, frustration welling in him hearing the words he wanted but not expected. Why can’t they just already dump him for bringing so much emotional baggage all the time? When will they say, ‘Sabo, get yourself together’ like it’s so easy to do?

“What’s wrong?” Marco asks with his oh-so-observant eyes, clearly seeing the change.

“When will you two have enough of me? When will you just kick me out for always bringing more and more problems?” Sabo asks harshly, looking in Marco’s eyes but instead of the disappointment he expects, there’s warmth and sadness. 

“Never,” they answer the same time with confidence.

“That’s a lie,” Sabo says with a hoarse voice, so close to crying again. “You can’t just do this all the time.”

“What, Sabo? Loving and supporting you without expecting anything back?” 

Ace’s words cut him deep but he only purses his lips, not answering.

“We love you, Sabo, we will always love you.” Marco tilts up Sabo’s head. “Why would you think we would ever leave you for asking for help?”

“Because I’m stupid?”

“How many times do I have to kiss you to stop your self-deprecation?” Ace asks. 

Sabo snorts. “If you only kiss me to shut me up-”

Marco puts his hand on his mouth, stopping his bitter words. Shoulders slouching, Sabo avoids meeting their eyes. “It’s okay, Sabo.”

“It’s not, it’s really not, I’m sorry.” Sabo’s voice break over the apology. “I’m being an asshole when you’re only trying to help, I hate it, I hate this, I hate myself, I hate my stupid brain being stupid when I don’t have any reason to doubt you.”

“Hey, hey,” Ace puts his hand on the back of Sabo’s neck, pulling his head closer, their forehead touching. “You’re right, you shouldn’t doubt in us but we’re here to tell you we love you as many time you need. We will never get tired of repeating ourselves. We love you.” Ace kisses his cheeks. “We adore and appreciate you more with every minute you spend with us.”

Sabo deflates, the weight lifts off his shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face. “You’re so cheesy.” 

“It’s the truth,” Marco says, pulling Sabo to the bed. Ace lets him go, hand resting on Sabo’s back as they return to bed. Sabo lies between them, warm bodies pressing close to his. Head resting on Ace’s chest, he listens to his heartbeat, drifting off slowly as gentle hands play with his hair. “Sleep, please, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Sabo murmurs.

Sabo’s heart swells hearing Ace laughing, his previous worries slowly fading from the front of his mind. Marco kisses the back of his neck, bringing a smile on Sabo’s face. 

There’s no other place Sabo would rather be.  

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it please tell me what you liked!! love me some sweet validation (tm)  
> thanks for reading!!


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